Every one needs a project or subject that they are passionate about. One that they will work on because it gives them pleasure or it offers a sense of accomplishment. For years I watched friends become involved with their church, volunteering in hospitals or animal shelters, helping the homeless and various other, worthwhile causes. All the while I could admire them for their dedication and drive, their focus and cheer them on from the sidelines but I never got involved. When I could, I would offer a monetary donation to whatever the cause was but of myself, I never gave.

In 1981 my world changed and almost everything began to crumble around me. It was at that time my eldest daughter Victoria reached the age (18 mo.) I was when my childhood sexual had begun. My husband David stood by me as I metamorphasized into a person neither of us knew. A person living on the edge, going for days at a time without any sleep, not being able to be touched by my mate or child until eventually I became suicidal.

I was diagnosed as suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder with symptoms being triggered by my daughter. Her likeness to myself at that age, her innocence and vulnerability and such became a living nightmare.

With proper help I have learned to live with what happened to me as a child. To grow past those events and to ignore the voice inside my head as well as some of those of people around me has been a constant, uphill battle. While rewarding, it has also shown me the way to my particular calling or focus in life. A calling that usually offers no pay but the rewards are astonishing. My personal cause has been to do everything I possibly can to end child abuse, incest and rape. A mighty task but I have also discovered two means of going about it.

During my recovery, I began writing. Last year I discovered the joys of writing for others. Some pieces of work have been self-histories, others poetry or informative articles about child abuse, rape and incest. In March 2001 I opened the doors to Survivor Haven, an e-zine dedicated to the survivors of rape and all forms of child and/or domestic abuse.

Each month I feature the creativity of authors who write about these issues. In doing so, I hope I am opening the door to other survivors. To let them know they are not alone in what they are going through, nor are the crazy for the feelings that are so often stirred up. While Survivor Haven is one of my mediums, it isn't my only one. With the help of my husband David, a hands on approach to fighting abuse is also taken.

David and I are both black belts in American Freestyle Karate. As such, we also hold self-defense and rape prevention seminars for women and children. We teach them to be forceful in saying 'No!" We instruct them in self-defense techniques that are geared towards the most common grabs and holds a woman or child may come across. Our students are taught to be aware of their surroundings, common lures to avoid and that handguns, knives or pepper sprays aren't the only weapons they have.

I was asked in a business meeting if I had a goal in life that didn't revolve somehow around money. My answer was that my goal is to make a difference in the life of one abused child or adult. It is a goal that I hope to see realized either through my martial arts or my writing.

Published by permission of Tenna Perry

Bio Tenna Perry is owner of Survivor Haven (http://www.angelfire.com/tx4/survivorhaven/index.html), a contributing editor at Suite 101 (http://www.suite101.com/welcome.cfm/7793) with a weekly column dealing with child sexual abuse as well as content team leader for both abuse and martial arts at Fitness Heaven.com. She also writes a biweekly column at the Writers Haven (http://writershaven.net) She is also currently working on her book, "The Tangled Web" that should be available through Shyflower's Press some time next year.

When she isn't writing, Tenna is the mother of three children, Victoria 11, Catherine 5 and William 2. She has been married to David (also an author) for what her marriage certificate reports as 13 years but she feels could only be 5 at the most. She has raised collies since 1976, worked 13 years in emergency veterinary medicine and is a black belt in American Freestyle Karate. All of these give her an endless muse of writing ideas.